Poor Reception

A little over a decade ago, I made the decision to ditch cable TV and get an antenna. Since I live in a region prone to hurricanes and severe thunderstorms, I didn't think an outdoor antenna was a sensible option.  As far as an indoor antenna—due to my big hang-up about aesthetics—there was no way I was going to stick one of those ugly, square, black antennas in plain sight.  So I made the decision to go with an attic antenna.    

I assembled it, forged through my fear of scaling the folding attic stairs and creatively installed it, within reach of the top stairs, and hooked it up to my existing coax cable.  I must have climbed those stairs a dozen times before I had decent reception.  Periodically, I'd lose stations and have to climb the stairs to reposition the antenna, which meant another dozen trips up and down the stairs and repeatedly rescanning for over-the-air (OTA) channels.  Reception continued to be an issue, most likely, due to the degradation of the extremely long 30-year old cable.   

Frustrated, and still unwilling to go back to cable or buy an ugly antenna, I decided to try a less aesthetically offensive small antenna that I could connect directly to the TV.   The quality of the picture was better, but I had to choose which channels to watch.  If I positioned the antenna one way, I'd get channel A, but not channel B.  Over the period of a year, I moved that dang antenna—not an exaggeration—at least a hundred times. Then the station I watched most often had the audacity to change their frequency.  I was so frustrated—and ventured back up into the attic and reconnected my cable.  I decided a poor quality picture was better than no picture.

A few months ago, when helping my sister clean out our parent's things, I discovered an old, flat, ugly square antenna.  When I shared my antenna drama with her, my sister encourged me to give it a try. And I tried my best to get that thing to work—out of sight.  After countless futile attempts and extremely aggravated, I slapped that ugly thing over the window and scanned the channels.  My mouth gaped.  Not only did the picture come in crystal clear, I got double the number of channels.

For over ten years, I'd been resisting—dismissing—what I deemed an undesirable option, and here it was—the best option. It'd been the best option from day one, but I'd been persistent in my effort to make things work out my way.    

Ouch.

I realized that didn't just apply to my antenna saga—it applied to many decisions I've made over the years.  I'd set my mind on precisely how I wanted something to play out, what I thought was best, and refused to consider any other option, even when it was obvious that my way wasn't working.  While I thought I was being admirably persistent in my endeavors, I was actually being ridiculously stubborn.

So many times, I wrestle with God to get my way.  To try to convince Him to buy-in on my good plan. To follow the script I had carefully written.  I confess, when things don't work out like I want, I'm quick to pout.  But eventually, I'll wave the white flag and surrender to the truth that God knows best.  You'd think by now, I'd realize I could save myself a lot of misery if I wasn't so persistent—um, stubborn.  Moving forward, it's my goal to be more receptive to tuning in to God's way.

And just so you know, after a persistent hunt, I discovered those flat wall antennas also come in white.

Teach me Your way, O Lord;

I will walk in Your truth. - Psalm 86:11