The Dress

I stopped in my tracks.  While I'd donated it months ago, I was caught off guard when I saw it hanging on the end of the clothes rack at the thrift store.  It was my wedding dress from 1983.  A dress that no longer held any meaning, or so I thought.

I just stared at it, unsure of what to do next.  It was like running into an old friend you once knew really well, but life had taken you both in different directions.  It was familiar in an awkward way.

The dress beckoned me closer.  As I ran my hand down the ribboned sleeve, my thoughts traveled back in time to when I was newly engaged.   

“Look!”  I said to my friend as we combed the rack of wedding dresses. “This is the dress I saw in the J. C. Penney’s catalog!  It’s even prettier than the picture!”

My friend snatched it off the rack. “Here, try it on!”

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach.  This is a dream come true!  I’m finally trying on a wedding dress!   

When I exited the dressing room, my friend positioned me in front of the large, tri-fold mirror.   

I caught my breath. “I barely recognize myself! I look—no—I feel like a princess! This is the dress!”

The memory faded.

When I ran my fingers along the beaded lace veil, another memory visited.   

“Be still!” my mother commanded, as she jabbed another bobby pin in my scalp.  My painful whimpers went unnoticed as she and my maid-of-honor poked, gouged, and—I was certain—drew blood while securing my veil in place.

I looked at the back of the dress and giggled. The shoe print was still there. I’d been happily dancing barefoot at the reception, when a friend’s young son stomped on the back of my dress, stopping me mid-spin.   

I felt prompted to take one last photo.  When I did unexpected tears pooled in my eyes.  My heart suddenly ached for 21-year-old me.

I remembered her well…

She was so desperate to be loved by a man that she’d compromised her core beliefs and settled for what she thought was her only chance for love.

She thought a husband would protect her, love her without fail, and fulfill her heart’s desires.

She thought marriage guaranteed happily-ever-after and she’d never be alone.

She was so young and so very wrong...and had no clue of the heartache and disappointment the next decade would bring.

If only she’d realized she was God’s beloved.

If only she’d known that only God could satisfy her deepest longings and heart’s desires.

If only she’d trusted God to bring her His choice of a companion in His perfect timing. And if it wasn’t His will for her to marry, she’d be okay.  In fact, she’d be more than okay.

I straightened my dress on the hanger and, as I ran my hand along the sleeve for the last time, I whispered a prayer:

Lord, when the next bride stands in front of the mirror wearing my dress, I pray she’ll see herself as Your beautiful, beloved princess.  Even more, I pray she will know that Your love is the only love she’ll ever need.

I have loved you with an everlasting love. ~ Jeremiah 31:3