Running Rough

I hear it coming from a mile away.  Every weekday morning for the past few months, a vehicle sputters and coughs its way along the main road.  As it passes my street, the driver gives it more gas, no doubt trying to power his way up the slight hill.   It’s an older vehicle.  My guess is it’s an old pickup truck sporting rust spots, dings, and dents from years of faithful service.  Whatever it is, it’s running rough.   

Every morning, I ponder why the driver hasn’t yet gotten it repaired. Perhaps he can’t afford it.  Or maybe he’s just ignoring the obvious, trusting old faithful to keep on keeping on despite the neglect.  However, unless the driver does something soon, he’s going to find himself stranded on the side of the road.

I speak from experience.  I know all about running rough.  About ignoring warning lights.  About dismissing little issues and not taking them seriously…until they are.

For decades, I’d been pushing hard on the accelerator, giving everything and everyone all the gas I had, while emotionally I was spluttering and limping along.  Then, I stalled.

Four years ago, after a 41-year career, I retired.  I’d been looking forward to my retirement.  To leisurely, stress-free days with no alarm clock. No time clock.  No schedule.  I anticipated road trips and visiting friends and faraway places without time restrictions.  I was ready to go.  Except that’s when I found I was stuck. Unable to move forward. My spark plugs ceased to spark.   

One morning in my quiet time, desperate to get moving, I asked the Lord to reveal my strongholds.  I’d reached the point where I was ready and willing to pay whatever it cost to get back on the road.  The Lord answered my prayer, naming my strongholds in quick succession.  Once I was aware of my issues, I eagerly set out to work through them.  I wanted resolution, and I wanted it immediately.  Yet, despite my attempts to self-service, years passed without me gaining any traction.  I was discouraged and defeated.

When I finally shared my frustration with a friend, she whipped out her phone. “I’m sending you the contact information for a therapist. Call her. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”

Ready to be unstuck, I made an appointment.  I went to my first meeting prepared, with my list of strongholds in hand.

Over the past few months, my “professional mechanic” and I have been taking a hard look at my maintenance history—actually, in my case, the history of my failure to maintain.  We’ve been digging deep—running a comprehensive diagnostic engine check—to identify the sources of my strongholds; to expose the triggers that clog my engine and cause it to misfire; and, referencing the Master’s Owner’s Manual, putting tools in place to ensure optimum engine operation.

I’ll be honest, the repair process is costly.  I’ve cried a lot. I’ve revisited painful memories. I’ve faced the hard.  Yet I’m breathing deeper than I have in decades. I’m standing taller, and the angst in my gut has subsided.  My spark is returning.  And I know that soon I’ll be plotting my route, pressing the pedal to the metal, and smoothly accelerating into great adventures with the Lord.

If you’ve been ignoring the warning lights, running rough, and sputtering your way down the road, I encourage you to seek the help of a professional.  Someone gifted in seeing things from a different perspective, who will coach you through the overhaul process, and wants to help you get back on the road.

Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Listen to counsel and receive instruction,

That you may be wise in your latter days. - Proverbs 19:20