Just A Number

Well, it’s official.  According to the U. S. government, I’m now a senior citizen.  I’m old.  Even cashiers automatically give me the senior discount.  To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I feel about that…although I’ll willingly accept the discount.

I’m in denial that the two-word descriptor, senior adult, or the kinder, gentler version—mature adult—now applies to me.  I still feel youthful—well, except when I do something I always used to do—and can barely move the next day.   That, and the fact that every move I make is now accompanied by a sound effect, either of my joints audibly popping or me groaning as I move after being in one position for too long.

Recently, I was talking with a friend from high school about our ‘getting older.’  I told her that all my life, I’ve watched the physical changes as my loved ones aged.  Their hair turned gray—or turned loose. Their posture changed.  Their energy level waned.  And how, that the older they became, the more their conversations were dominated by stories about the good ol’ days, when times were simpler, and the music was much better.

“But that was them—this is me—us!”  I exclaimed. “This growing-old thing is a whole different ball game now that I’m the one up to bat!”

She agreed, we shared a laugh, and then we talked about the good ol’ days when life was simpler and how our generation’s music—the 1970s—was the best of all time.

Over the years, I’ve heard older folks say that “age is just a number.”  While that’s true, it’s also a marker of the passing of time.  As my benchmark birthday approached, I became more keenly aware that the “sands of time” were quickly funneling through my life’s hourglass, and that more grains of sand were resting in the bottom half than remain in the top.  I’ve lived more days than I have left to live.  Statistically, my generation in the family tree is now the “next one up” for promotion to heaven.

This new season has me pondering: What’s my life supposed to look like at 65?  What am I going to do with the grains of sand I have remaining?   

I thought about making a bucket list of things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go, and people I wanted to see.  I pulled out a pen and paper, but the ideas didn’t flow.  Most likely because any wanderlust or sense of adventure I’d once had has been replaced by the contentment of being at home and appreciating a quiet, low-maintenance lifestyle.

Then I remembered a task that my therapist had given me in my final session.  I’d gone to her last summer because I’d felt stuck, unable to move forward, to set goals or pursue dreams. I grabbed my Bible and found the list I’d titled:  “Goals I sense that God has for me.”  A list I’d eagerly and thoughtfully made, yet had failed to execute.  Ouch.

Yet, I knew the list—my spiritual bucket list—was made for this very day. If I pursue these goals, I won’t have a one-and-done passing experience; I’ll be where I long to abide: in the center of God’s will.

***

1.  Be still and know that He is God.  Listen for God’s voice.  In the noise.  In the quiet.  At all times.

Be still, and know that I am God! - Psalm 46:10

2.  Trust God with all my heart.  With all my heart—not just a portion. My heart and plans may fail, but God’s never will. He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, and working in ways I cannot see. (Note to self: If necessary, reread #1)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.  - Proverbs 3:5-6

3.  Use my gifts for God’s glory.   I know what they are—I need to be using them.  Now.

God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. - 1 Peter 4:10

4.  Tell of His goodness. Testify with my written and spoken words!

For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness

continues to each generation. - Psalm 100:5

5.  Fear not.  I am safe and continually in His care.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

6.  Seek Him in all I do.  And seek with confidence.

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jeremiah 29:13

7.  Think on these things.  Cease the stinkin’ thinkin.’

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. - Philippians 4:8

8.  Cast all my cares on Him.   Is it my battle?  Is it my concern?  Am I trying to do something that’s not mine to do?

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. - 1 Peter 5:7

9.  Be obedient to His prompting.  Immediately and with complete trust.

Loving God means keeping his commandments, and His commandments are not burdensome.

- 1 John 5:3

10.  Give thanks in all things.  In the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. - Romans 8:28

11.  Live in a way that honors God.  Be kind, moral, and obedient.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

- Colossians 3:23

12.  Know that I am His beloved—and live like I believe it!

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

And that is what we are!” – 1 John 3:1

13.  Watch for Him to stir the waters—and join in!

He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. - Matthew 9:37

***

So, as I move forward as a senior citizen, I’m very aware that age IS ‘just a number.’  I want to live every moment of every day with intention—and know that every breath I take—and every grain of sand—is a gift from the Good Lord.

Lord, teach me to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom. 

(- Psalm 90:12, Sharon's prayerful paraphrase)