September 29, 1994: the ending of one season in my life. October 2, 1994: the beginning of another. One season catapulted me into the other. One season destroyed my identity, the other defined my identity. One season took away my dreams, the other gave me hope.
These two dates are critical pivot points in my life. My divorce was final on the last Thursday of September 1994. I had married unequally yoked and was an unintentional prodigal. I had wandered far from my faith and lost my way. I joined Olive Baptist Church on the first Sunday of October 1994. Three days after my marriage ended, I walked to the altar and recommitted my life to following Jesus; I had found my way home.
As these anniversary dates approach, I have been re-reading my blogs, reflecting, pondering and savoring the great and mighty things the Lord has done in me and for me. I am humbled, grateful and overwhelmed. Some of the things I have learned over these past three decades include:
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. The Lord taking something away isn't a bad thing.
What I thought was the worst thing to happen in my life was actually the best thing to happen in my life. My divorce was awful, but God has used it for my good.
Sometimes life doesn't go according to my plans, but in the surrendered stillness of my willing heart, God's glorious plan will unfold. A plan exceedingly abundantly more than I can ever ask, think or imagine!
There's a difference between reluctantly surrendered and willingly surrendered.
It is in the midst of my trials where the hard meets the Holy, grief meets the Comforter, chaos meets the Peace that surpasses all understanding, and brokenness meets the Healer.
God is the fixer of things, not me. I need to get out of the way and let Him work.
Forgiveness isn’t easy or instant, but it is a choice. It renders anger powerless and brings healing to a wounded heart. I choose to forgive because I am forgiven.
Disobedience -- even for a really good reason -- is still disobedience.
I am to pray without ceasing, seek truth in God's word, be still and listen for His voice — no matter how long the wait lasts.
God sees me. He hears me. He loves me.
When I'm in a valley and my bones feel broken and lifeless, don't beg God to get me out of the valley of misery, pray for Him to breathe life into my bones and walk with me through my valley! Allow Him to change me, not just my circumstance.
God sees the sparrow. He loves, protects, provides and takes note of the minutest detail affecting His tiny creation. And yet Jesus said I am more valuable than a sparrow.
God is faithful in the small details and the big things; the adventures and the mundane; the yeses, nos, and even in the seasons of wait.
Out of the billions of people that have ever been, will be and are — God knows my unique voice. He hears me when I call. He listens for my voice. And if I listen for His, He will tell me great and mighty things.
My circle of influence is mine and mine alone. Every person within my sphere of influence is divinely appointed. I must be aware of my influence, use it for good, and point those in my circle to the One True God.
I am the only one who can write my story of God’s goodness and faithfulness.
Absolutely nothing is impossible with God.
Joy is different than happiness. Happiness is based on my feelings in response to the moment and situation; joy is soul deep, unchanging and comes from my faith in Jesus. Joy often oozes out unexpectedly and gives me hope in the face of tough situations.
Don't just tell someone you'll pray for them, stop and pray WITH them. Right then. Right there. Without excuse. Without hesitation. Without embarrassment. I should never be too busy to pause and take care of kingdom work — to appeal to the only One who can change the situation, or change us.
God is the only One who can fill the voids in the depths of my heart. He is my First Love and I am His beloved.
God keeps track of all my sorrows. He does not dismiss one second of my pain, sadness or suffering as insignificant. He knows and understands them all.
God collects all of my tears. He has been collecting my lifetime of tears. He caught the very first one I cried as a newborn babe and He will catch every one until my dying breath.
God has an amazing plan for my life; yet He does not reveal the entire plan all at once. I must trust Him to lead me as I walk out that plan, day-by-day, step-by-step, and breath-by-breath.
Anything that gets between me and the Son casts a big shadow.
Singleness isn't the journey I would have chosen. Yet it has been in my single journey where I have I experienced the Lord’s unfailing, unwavering true love.
I need to live like I am expecting the Lord to answer my prayers. I need to pray big. Pray believing. Then I need to prepare my fields, trust the Lord to make my meager plantings grow, and wait for Him to bring the harvest in His perfect timing.
I need to be aware both my actions and attitude impact my testimony.
My identity is in Christ. Not a job. Not a role. Not social status. I am chosen and significant. I am loved and fully known by God. I am His beloved. A blood-bought child of the One True God. Created in His image for His purpose and His glory. Redeemed. Sealed. Eternally His.
Scars are precious. It was my wounded heart that brought me back to the church. It was my fear and hopelessness that brought me to my knees before Holy God. It was in my desperation where I encountered the Peace that surpasses all understanding. It was my relationship with the Lord that brought healing to my deep wounds. And it is the healing of those wounds - my scars - that gives me a glorious story to tell.
Indeed, God makes beauty from ashes.
One season was a promise broken by an unfaithful spouse; the other season is a promise kept by a faithful God. To God be the glory.
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1
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God has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.
~ Ecclesiastes 3:11
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