Receiving my Tomorrows
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. ~ Ephesians 3:20-21
I was attending an out-of-town class when my boss called. He wanted me to attend a working group conference with my coworker. In three weeks. In Hawaii. Well, okay…if you insist! I did the happy dance.
While I knew the workdays would be long, I excitedly pondered what the Lord was going to do on this trip. On a previous trip to Hawaii to attend a class reunion, the Lord revealed I needed to cast away my yesterdays, to let go of the painful memories that controlled my thoughts and hindered my decision-making. In my quiet time, I questioned the real purpose of my traveling back to the island; one morning the answer came clearly: I was to going to receive my tomorrows. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but it sounded exciting and promising.
Making travel arrangements on short notice was a challenge. Flight options were limited and all of the chain hotels were booked. On a whim, I decided to call the hotel where I had always dreamed of staying: a luxurious grand old Victorian on Waikiki Beach. Not only did the hotel offer government rate, they had room availability! Happy dance, again!
Our flight arrived on a picture perfect afternoon. Blue skies, white fluffy clouds and gentle trade winds. As I walked into the lobby of the hotel, I had to pinch myself. For a girl who is all-about-vintage, this was a dream come true. My room in the historical wing overlooked the giant banyan tree and gave me a snippet view of the Pacific. Absolutely lovely.
My coworker chose to use her free time doing touristy things with her husband; I opted to spend my time enjoying my surroundings. I lounged on the hotel’s beach reading, journaling and waiting for the Lord to reveal what it meant to “receive my tomorrows.” I pondered possibilities. Did it mean I would meet my future husband? Would my prayers about a career decision be confirmed? Or something greater?
Several days went by without any revelation. I was discouraged. One morning as I showered for work, I became acutely aware of my surroundings. Everything about the bathroom – tile color, shampoo fragrance, and lighting - reminded me of our bathroom when I was a teen. Adolescent insecurities quickly surfaced. Refusing to give in to my conflicted feelings, I hurriedly yanked back the shower curtain to exit the tub. The Lord spoke to my heart, stopping me in mid-step. “Are you going to continue to listen to the not-enough tapes you play in your mind, or are you going to believe you are who I say you are?”
How loving is our God. He took me back to where my negative self-talk began, paid my expenses, arranged for me to stay in a dream hotel, and then gently confronted my unhealthy behavior. My critical self-talk is a stumbling block. I know I am God’s chosen and beloved; I need to live like I believe it. And when I do, I am able receive the amazing tomorrows He has in store for me.