O Me of Little Faith
When I read the Scripture verses about Jesus feeding the 5000, with just two loaves of bread and five fish, I always wonder what it was like to be a part of the miracle.
Did the young boy willingly offer up his lunch? Did he fear he might get hungry? Or did he anticipate being a part of something amazing? Did being a part of such a miracle radically change his life?
And the disciples. They had walked with Jesus. They knew Him intimately and watched Him perform other miracles. Yet, there they were, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a multitude and Jesus instructs them to feed everyone. While Philip was the one who spoke up, questioning Jesus with the where-and-how, did the other disciples glance at one another in disbelief and wonder just how Jesus was going to pull this miracle off? Or did they quickly stand up and start serving, trusting Jesus to provide?
I’d like to think if I had been there, I would have trusted Jesus had it all under control. But honestly, sometimes I struggle with doubt and sometimes my faith wavers. I know the Lord can do all things in any situation, but I’m not always confident He will do it.
Several years ago, when a beloved Sunday school class member died, our ladies offered to provide a meal for the family after the funeral. Now, we are a cooking-and-baking bunch, so there is always an abundance of food at our class socials.
However, that morning, as we collected the food to take over to the church where the funeral was being held, there was not nearly the amount of food we had expected. How were we going to feed a group of 40 with this little? We didn’t have time to run around town to try to get more food. The small group of us decided we would just have to trust the Lord that what we had would be enough.
I agreed with the decision, but I whispered my own little prayer. Please, Lord, don’t let all of the family stay for the meal.
Then there was the moment when my doubt escalated to absolute panic: at the end of the funeral service, the pastor invited everyone in attendance to come back for the meal. My mouth gaped. Did he just invite everyone? I scanned the church; it was full. I glanced anxiously at a friend; wide-eyed, I could tell she was doing a quick headcount. Every seat was filled. There must have been 200 in attendance.
Again, I whispered a quick, desperate prayer. Please, Lord, don’t let all of them stay for the meal.
We hurried to the kitchen and, as we prepared to serve, paused to pray. Unlike my quick and doubting prayers asking for less people, my classmate prayed for the Lord to multiply the food.
For two hours, we served family, friends, and even some folks that wandered in off the street. Many came through the line for second servings; some even asked for to-go boxes.
When the last guest left, we exhaled and high-fived each other. God had answered our prayer: there had been enough food. As we cleaned up, one of the ladies came out of the kitchen. With tear-filled eyes, she held a complete pan of foil-covered fried chicken.
Tears filled my own eyes. I was a part of a miracle. Not only did He provide enough, He provided more than enough. God had literally multiplied the chicken and sweet tea.
O me of little faith.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! - Matthew 7:7-11