There is something about this year that excites me. Perhaps it is because it is a brand-spanking new decade. But, most likely it has something to do with the fact that it is 2020…which makes me think of 20/20. As in perfect vision, focus and clarity…and well, hindsight.
Hindsight. Exactly ten years ago, I was a mess.
Our command on the naval base was being shut down and the workload transferred to the east coast. I had been desperately trying to find another federal job locally for well-over two years, but nothing had panned out. As the time clicked down to a management-directed relocation, I was consumed with fear. I was terrified of moving alone and leaving everything familiar. I had sincerely tried to trust to the Lord and see the potential positives in a move. I even reminded myself that perhaps I would meet my Prince Charming in my new city. However, my self-talk wasn’t working.
For some reason on one particular morning, I was an exceptionally big mess. While sitting at a traffic light, I uttered a prayer...an oath: "Lord, if you let me stay in Pensacola, I will be content to be single the rest of my life. I'd rather be single here, than married somewhere else."
Now looking back, my biggest regret is not the quick desperate plea-deal-prayer I uttered long ago, it is that I had trusted in only what I could see. I did not trust the One who is in control of all things, the Expert at working out impossible situations.
While I don’t think the Lord changed His mind and accepted my negotiation, He did provide a local job, but it was not the federal job that I desired. As a matter of fact, at the time, it was my least desired option. I ended up retiring federal service early and getting hired as a federal contractor.
Time has been a good teacher. Throughout this past decade, I have been schooled in my faith walk and grown in my relationship with the Lord. Often the lessons have been hard and, repeatedly, have brought me to my knees. But I have learned firsthand that God is faithful. He is in the midst of the smallest details. He is always working all things out for my good and His glory. And I have learned that it is in the surrendered stillness of my willing heart, that His glorious plan unfolds.
The federal contractor job that was my least desired option? It has been a very good provision with countless unexpected benefits. The biggest unexpected benefit? I was able to pay off my mortgage early!
Perfect vision. Ironically, just as 2010 started with my job in jeopardy, 2020 has started the same way. However, this time around, I wouldn’t use the word jeopardy to define the upcoming career change; I know it is a God-orchestrated opportunity. This time around, I am not fearful if I must leave behind the familiar, because I am familiar with my God. I am not worried about financial provision, because God has shown me He will provide all my needs exceedingly abundantly more than I could begin to think. (Note: needs…not all my wants!). This time around, I am not trusting in only what I can see; I am trusting in the One who is in control of all things and the Expert at impossible.
And this time around, I am actually excited to see what He will do. I am surrendered, still and my heart is willing…and I anticipate His glorious plan that will unfold.
I pray that 2020 will be a year of hindsight, where I will remember God’s continual faithfulness to His wavering (and sometimes doubtful) servant. Even more, I pray it is a year of supernatural spiritual acuity, where I will focus on Him alone and see with extreme clarity the amazing things the Lord is doing on my behalf!
Even now, Lord, I am ready for You to move!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.
~ Proverbs 3:5-6
For I know the plans I have for you”
—this is the Lord’s declaration—
“plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
~ Jeremiah 29:11